Packing her stuffs…

as I woke up and went down stairs looking at Dad … well, I don’t know what’s he up to with these things:

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I asked him what’s with these things and he just … just silence. so I watch him do his things like a little girl. as he was about to finish building it, I had an idea what it was and took some of the materials displayed and just help him put it. and hello to my sister’s own cabinet…

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yey! … my sister is going to be a college student na! and she still don’t have any idea what she’s going to take. tsk. I felt jelly in that moment .. where she decides on what she’s going to be, unlike me who just thought of this degree and boom! like, I didn’t have to argue, I mean, we did not argue .. I just thought of the degree and they just planned it, and here I am, the need-to-do-it, need-to-finish-it girl. (deep sigh). but on the bright side, hello last year (hopefully) and I can go to work and save some money for school again.

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welcome to my Alma mater! 🙂 well, this picture was taken last few days by my youngest sister, Janelle. 😛

anyway, talking about school, I’ll share something short about who was I and what world I had in this place. I hope some would understand, mostly to those who were part of it that misunderstood me.

School, a place I know that is full of other students like me and some instructors/professors that will guide and teach us all within 9-10 months per year. I’m scared with other people, I was scared to be bullied, really don’t want to have any fights or misunderstanding and stuffs, I’m scared to make a mistake and be laughed by all the people I see around me. I actually don’t interact with people because of it, that’s why I don’t have that much friends. I know I act weird and can’t control my feelings, where most people are .. :/

well, since then and until now, I’m still that kind of person. I’m only confident doing things when I’m alone, when I’m with people I know I can show them what I kind of person I am. I have some girls who I call my best friend, but all of them are the same … I have one best friend when I’m still in kindergarten and in my 3rd grade. a new best friend when I’m in the 5th grade and another one in my 1st year in HS until we graduated. as we enter college, our friendship is still fine and until I met my kindergarten classmate and became my new best friend, all of them were having a good time with their new environment, I think. 2nd year in college, I knew all of them now have their new best friends, and I don’t even know who they are right now. looking at them so happy makes me feel that I don’t exist anymore, like, my mission is done and I have to pack my bags and leave and feel alone in this world. so much drama, right?

as I continue to live this world alone, a guy who I see as a good friend told me, any problem always have a smile in the end. I felt so weird but knew that he was right. “everything will come in the right time.”

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