rebound napkin

it’s been almost two years after our break up or something misunderstanding about our relationship, because he thought that our relationship was just a joke, and he has this girl that he loves since before i met him.

one day …he sent me a message:

him: “pwede ba ibalik natin yung dati?”

me: “anong dati?”

h: “yung relationship natin dati. pwede ba?”

m: “bakit?”

h: “gusto kitang mahalin ulit. seryoso na this time.”

m: (after few minutes) “i really can’t answer your question for now.”

and then, he didn’t reply after 3 days. and i was really curious WHY??? so i sent him a message asking…

me: “bakit gusto mong makipagbalikan?”

him: “dahil gusto kitang mahalin ulit.”

m: “but why? i mean, akala ko ba, si *girl lang ang…hmm, you know what i mean..”

h: “kasi wala na ako sa kanya. friends lang talaga kami. at hindi na kami hihigit dun.”

after reading it, i don’t know what to reply. and there was a following message from him…”may pag-asa pa ba ako sa’yo?”

reading it like 50 times or more and still thinking of what i will reply…i’m so confused and getting complicated. “should i or should i not?” keeps repeating in my head. YES? because i still love him. MAYBE? because it’s been two years and i completely moved on. or NO? because he got friend zoned by the girl he love since then and wants to bring back our relationship? IT SUCKS! i mean literally, ganun nalang ba yun? THE FUDGE! and then, he replies…

“oo. gusto ko lang maayos yung dati. kasi hindi pa ako gaanong mature nun. ngayon seryoso na ako.”

and i just replied: I really don’t know.

after that, i kept thinking the whole day of what i will answer. and you know what i said?

“i don’t want to hurt your feelings or something, but i want you to know, after two years, i’ve completely moved on. and i think it’s better if we’re FRIENDS..”

and he agreed to my decision. and now, i just hope he’s okay with it. :]

i still feel hate and at the same time, conscience. looked like an option to him, like i’m just a rebound napkin and really¬†got pissed off, but i need to tell him properly and mature kaysa sa paasahin ko nalang sa wala. wala ng pupuntahan ang relationship namin. hanggang magkaibigan lang talaga. :]